A Press Release — Reprint This Anywhere You Like!

619 884 2376

If a Midwestern looking girl came up to you in the supermarket, told you she was a dominatrix, and invited you to see her new one-woman show you would be talking to Widow Centauri — the funny dominatrix!

Dominatrixes are supposed to be mean, wear black, scowl and scare you, but this sassy sister of sadomasochism takes a different approach. Taking it to the stage The Widow Centauri tells wacky stories of dungeon mishap, for the “normals” in her new one-woman show If Lucy Had A Whip. The summer 2008 tour brings this kooky character to 14 US cities including glamorous places like Buffalo, Omaha, and Salt Lake City.

People make a lot of assumptions when they hear the word dominatrix. Images of black leather, whips, chains, anger and abuse often enter into the ideas of anyone who only knows about S&M because they saw it in a movie. People assume that a performing dominatrix would offer a fetish performance fit only for adults, in a bar, with an x rated pornographic theme. They would be mistaken if they thought that about this show.

If Lucy Had A Whip is a simple and entertaining show that Middle-America is flocking to see. Normal people all across the country are curious about this exotic world and Widow Centauri is just the one to deliver it. A New England teacher said “Widow Centauri is so sweet and disarming she can talk about this stuff to anyone. If your grandmother asks you about S&M don’t try to rationalize it, take her to see if Lucy Had A Whip: Tales of An American Dominatrix.” Widow Centauri takes the taboo topic of S&M and humanizes it. Her bizarre antics will make the most jaded whip wielder giggle with delight but her new pg-13 show is geared for a more vanilla crowd. This talking head type one-woman-show might make you think Spalding Gray returned form the dead as a sexy dominatrix.

Widow Centauri is an independent artist who resides in Hollywood CA. She holds a degree in creative writing from Antioch University and has studied comedy at The Second City. She has been seen on Comedy Central, Showtime, and Playboy TV. Widow Centauri keeps a blog about her adventures as a professional dominatrix at widowcentauri.wordpress.com


For more information about If Lucy Had A Whip, or to schedule an interview with Widow Centauri, email freaksofcomedy@gmail.com

Widow Centauri’s Logo


Saturday, November 24, 2007
“What the hell?! Don’t bite my dick!!!”~ Widow Centauri in IF LUCY HAD A WHIP
What happens when an enema goes awry? Should you use a plastic zip-tie for a cock-ring? If you hog-tie a bloke in his own basement and skip off to have Thanksgiving dinner with your family- what will that man do? How many uses are there for a vibrating glove? What do you do when a man bites off the head of your strap-on cock? The answers to these and many other interesting questions are played out in Widow Centauri’s newest side-splitting stage creation “If Lucy Had A Whip”.

Mistress Centauri, with her silver-screen smile and that fantastic ass, will have you begging for more as she sachets down memory lane taking you through steamy, sexy and saucy stories of restraints, whips and public masturbation!

You’ll be howling for mercy when this sassy sister of sadomasochism unleashes herself across the stage. Adult “babies”, pleading husbands and ballsy strippers populate this kinky narrative of the life and times of Widow Centauri~ The All-American Donimatrix!

Break a leg, Widow! The show’s great!

The original review can be seen here:


Have an RV? ~~~~~ Be My Road Bitch!

rvwidowtop.jpgI am planning a nationwide tour. I’m booking my one-woman show, If Lucy Had A Whip: Tales of an American Dominatrix, and taking it to fabulous places like Omaha, Buffalo, and Reno.

Sounds like fun, hun?

Anyway, last time I did a big tour I had a guy on these boards contact me and tell me that he had an RV and would love to be the driver / road bitch. I need you now. If you are sitting on your ass somewhere in fuck all USA and you have an acceptable RV, several months to drive around, and a seriously masochistic streak call me up.

You know you want to drive around with the stand up comic dominatrix. I love public golden showers, crazy role play, and adventures galore! Fire up the ol’ Winnebago and make room for my shoes.

Whips and Rubber Chickens,

Widow Centauri

Pandora’s Hook

Here is the opening segment of the show.

If Lucy Had A Whip: Tales of An American Dominatrix

If Lucy Had A Whip: Tales of an American Dominatrix is the story of how Widow Centauri became a dominatrix. She was a math major, now she is one of the leading Sex Experts in North America. This show is brilliant, hysterical, autobiographic, corny, and even sad. This show is about the trials and tribulations that go into the creation of becoming a dominatrix, coming out to your family and friends, and what happens when they object to the antics of a young female pervert.

This blog is being created to share the details of the first tour of If Lucy Had A Whip.

The Widow Centauri is actively booking the tour. If you own, operate, or book a theater, night club, cruise ship, church group, organization, or other interesting venue send an email to freaksofcomedy@gmail.com

Any and all connections will help get this show to your weird little town. Are you listening Poughkepsie?

This blog will be updated with show dates and details of adventures that happen on the road!

Scroll Down To See Cock In A Box (a clip from the show)

See you at the show!

Whips and Rubber Chickens,

Widow Centauri
(619) 884 – BDSM

She Could Grab The Handle …

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